The ultimate Chennai survival guide

It's been almost 2 weeks since the inception of my career in Cognizant here in Chennai, and I feel it's only fair to warn all the first-timers in the city and let them know the following tips to survive in a place that the devil himself was forced to flee from.

1: Load up on sun cream and whatever similar products you might have seen on TV that’s gonna help you fight against the mighty powers of the sun skin-wise…because my dear friend, this is where it shines the brightest. And not in a nice manner.

2: Avoid wearing black. Yes, I know it makes you look cool, but here in Chennai it’s only gonna act as a catalyst for the cooking process. So unless you wanna end up as a roasted version of yourself, black is not an option.

3: Carry a hand-sanitizer if possible. Hygiene isn’t exactly perfect here and with the unbearable heat, you’re bound to sweat more and leave yourself a big mess. Gotta keep those hands clean at least, right?

4: Learn a little Tamil. You’d especially need to know how to ask “how much” or say “it’s too much”, when it comes to the following two tips.

5: Avoid the auto-rickshaws as much as possible. There is no auto driver here who’s not out for blood…I mean, money. They will have you on their cross-hairs especially if you’re from outside Tamil Nadu and charge you such rates that it’s gonna give you a stroke.

6: If under some circumstances, the above mentioned point cannot be followed, then the only choice you have left is to verbally fight against them. Trust me, you will have to. They will charge you straight double the actual price. And what you’ve got to do is accept a rate that is straight half of what they are charging. Be stubborn and hold your ground. Do not give in. Then they will be forced to lower the rate but they might not settle for what you want, so you’d have to increase your preferred rate a little more. Finally an adjustment will be reached that’s gonna leave you both unhappy, but that’s life. You’ve gotta suck it up and be happy that you’re paying just Rs. 250 and not Rs.400 for a Rs.100 trip.

7: Walk like you own the street, even if you don’t know where the hell you are. Tourists and other outsiders are easy prey for the auto drivers and they will make you use their service if you look like you’re lost.

8: Carry an umbrella for the heat. It probably might not be…erm…manly for us men, so let’s not make this tip a compulsory one.

9: Go to Besant nagar…the oasis in the desert. I haven’t been to many places in Chennai, but that is one area where the sun doesn’t hit you much and the cool sea breeze is almost as comforting as being in an air-conditioned room, not to mention the presence of really good restaurants and cafes.

10: This need not be specifically said, but always make sure you got easy access to water. Dehydration is one of your biggest enemies here and you will be longing for a glass of chilled water very often.

11: Lastly, don’t let this place bring you down. Chennai might closely resemble hell, but there are fun spots scattered around the city that’s bound to give you a good time. Make use of them and you’ll be fine.

So I guess there are both ups and downs to everything…it’s how you balance them that makes all the difference in the world.

Vysh out

There is no Shift + Delete

A friend on facebook put up a status recently stating that we hold on to memories because that's all what we are left with when people change. A wise statement that got me thinking...and agreeing. There was no debate involved here...what she said was an in-your-face fact that was sadly true.

Everybody's bound to have at least that one person with whom you won't hesitate spilling your guts out. And obviously, as that period of knowing each other increases, so does the strength of that bond. You will not be able to envisage a life without that one person anymore. But at that point, what you should remember is that the higher you go, the harder you fall...but being human has its negative side-effects. We tend not to think of a situation that might destroy our happiness while we are in it. And when you eventually fall, you are gonna suffer for it.

The real sad part is something else. People(at least the ones beyond their teen years) are not that stupid. They do accept that life isn't a bed of roses. Many of them do try to get up after getting beaten. In spite of being brought down, they move forward and continue being human. They continue trusting the ones who still remain in their lives. The real sad part is, despite this the process is repeated again. Yet another one leaves and never comes back. You can toughen up your defenses as much as you like, but no one you're close with is here to stay. They come, they change your life in some significant manner that leaves you either a better person or a complete screw-up, and then they go. Regardless of promises and crossings of hearts.

This made me wonder...is it all worth it? Is it worth letting a person get inside of you, allowing them to get to know you for what you are, thus cementing themselves a seemingly permanent position in your life? An emphatic answer of mine would be "hell no". You are alone, and you always will be. You can live your life by seeking the company of those around you but never getting emotionally attached. The danger signs should light up the moment a bond is created. It's all about being a little smarter in making your choices. Prevention is undoubtedly better than cure after all. Once fallen in the pit, it's impossible to claw your way out. If you succumb to the world of love and all that crap...well, it's gonna be one hell of a ride, alright. Surviving it is a different question.

But again, this is all just one single viewpoint. I can write a completely different blog efficiently portraying a picture of how depending, caring and loving are all right and good. They are...but the difference lies in not crossing the limit to the point where we are reduced to just holding on to our memories. Up to you if you want to be in that situation. Just remember...there is no permanent deletion for those memories. And they will destroy you.

This is vysh...signing out and back into his state of utter boredom.

The Bangalore Escapade

I have some quirks that might prompt you to cock that double barrel shotgun and fire away at me; examples include my hate for anything that is made out of chocolate(except bars) and my dislike for little kids. I had sensed the risk and taken care of few of them; instances include not throwing away the chicken skin from KFC and finally watching Pulp Fiction. If we're talking about places people have been to, and if we take only resident Indians into consideration and probably every outsider who visits this country, then there is one city that should be in the top 3 of that of list : Bangalore. A list that I failed to satisfy. yep, I had never been to that place despite being a college student just 10 hours away for 4 consecutive years. But you can keep your trigger fingers away, for I finally managed to squeeze a trip to the city into a weekend of my life, which otherwise would have been utterly wasted by me anyway.

Word was that there was an unofficial and unplanned get-together of friends at Bangalore and I was sorely tempted to join. And join, I did. The multi-axle air-conditioned bus was nice enough not to make me remember the details of the 10-hour long journey as I arrived at the capital of Karnataka at 7 in the morning, which by the way was the time for the weather to be freezing cold leaving me shivering all over(learn, Kochi, learn!). Shortly rescued by suthin, we headed to his brother's place which was to be my place of residence for the day. Not long after, the size of the gang increased with the addition of calvin, monisha, merin and jazim...kudos to one of them for the increase in 'size'. Despite that, the 6 of us successfully stuffed ourself into an Alto as jazim chauffeured us around some of the prime spots of Bangalore. First stop was for lunch, and we destroyed our starvation at Cafe Masala on a buffet...an expensive buffet.

Right after that, we headed out to Guzzler's Pub for a game of billiards and a brief meeting with our old buddies zubair and ridhi. Stuffed with food and something else, we decided to retire for the day. Initially annoyed that Bangalore wasn't living upto my expectations, a game of God of War 3 on a Playstation 3 displayed brilliantly by a high definition 32" TV while i was swamped on a huge bean bag made me forget about everything else in life. Sigh...I love that bean bag. That's what souls use in heaven, I'm sure.

Soon, the two smallest people of the group bid their goodbyes as the rest of us joined by the residents of the flat headed to Taco Bell for dinner where I had the best damn slush drink on the planet with some quessadilla, a word that monisha failed to pronounce correctly leading to a class of jokes on her that deviated from the usual 'fat' category. The night ended with the obvious, of course. The tall one had the pleasure of sleeping over the bean bag.

Sunday started late thanks to somebody suffering from an hangover...proof that capacity is not directly proportional to height. The two of us headed out to meet zubair at his place from where he took us to Cafe Thulp where calvin and I enjoyed the biggest beef burger I've ever laid my fingers on. Aptly titled 'Moo's your daddy', it was deliciously and lusciously scrumptious. Bless zubair for his awesome lunch choice. Next, we headed to one of the hotspots in Bangalore : Forum mall. Did nothing except pick up a Batman poster for myself and that paved the way for an evening walk to the place that I had been waiting to go for a long time...Purple Haze. The ambience couldn't be better as it lifted us higher with the help of some classic rock music played in the background. Joined by monisha and suthin, it provided an evening to remember. The highlight was undoubtedly my embarrassing moment when I was forced to sip a drink on fire through a bloody straw because I let it heat up too much. Yes I know...amateur.

There was no choice but to crash at zubair's place for the night...and crash we did. Heavily. The tall one again had the privilege of sleeping all over the bean bag HERE. The hangover on Monday was visibly deeper, but we managed to get our asses to the primary place of residence and my Bangalore trip finally culminated in some heavy duty God-slaying, kudos to the PS3 and the bean bag and the 32" TV. Oh boy, it felt good.

suthin and I returned that night to arrive at a comparatively dull and boring Kochi the next morning, only for us to get together the next sunday with Kochiites susan and irene at Panampally Nagar. I guess this gives testament to the fact that when it comes to friends...maybe the place doesn't matter, only the people do. And of course bean bags and playstations and high definition televisions and gigantic burgers and....well...you get the drift.

This is vysh...signing out.

The Wedding Crashers

2010 has been another explosive year in terms of the 207 get-togethers...and we decided to end it and begin the next year with a bang. and a big bang it was :)

the first trip taken by this gang in rails....it took around 6 to 7 hours for suthin,rohin,ali,susan,merin,irene and myself to reach kannur from ernakulam. it wasnt an eventful ride...half the time was spent trying to get some seats and the other half just hanging on the steps of the train, enjoying the wind. but we wasted no time as we gathered around under the roof that rohin's flat provided.

with only hours left till the curtain fell down on a magnificent and dreadful year that was 2010, we brought all the food and the drinks down on the table and began our celebration. probably the most magnificent aspect of the year was that we were still together, exploiting fun in every way possible. a celebration was mandatory :) the star of the night was arguably the smallest thing in the house : merin (for reasons that can't be divulged here). she and the rest of us paved the way for the new year and hopefully for a lot more confluences.

but the celebrations didnt end there. joined shortly by zubin, jency and the last minute surprise that was sreeja, we proceeded to provide the real big bang to 2011 by heading to jazim's brother's wedding party. and oh boy, a party it was :D

once again, the each of us were dressed to kill and we made sure there were no leftovers in the food department or in the entertainment department. and by entertainment, i mean a lot of singing, and a lot of dancing. We had given the meaning of January 1st a whole new makeover :)

January 2nd marked our railway return to ernakulam and the end of this very special get-together...and a promise that this aint gonna be the last.

this is vysh....signing out.